The Nuclear Bunker

The Nuclear Bunker

by Rod Jones Artist

New York, Upper East Side. I suspect you don’t live there, but then again, maybe you do. It’s a very affluent neighborhood. On the 35th floor of one of the most ritzy buildings resides Sheldon and his wife Fran. Common sense and discreteness does not allow me to tell you their last name and you will soon discover why.

Fran was looking out one of their floor-to-ceiling windows. The curtains were drawn back and tied with ornate gold and burgundy tassels. Those were the decor colors that were prominently repeated throughout their very opulent apartment. The day was sunless and Fran was feeling bland and depressed at the same time. Mostly because the view toward Central Park was obscured by another building. She turned to Sheldon and in her usual complaining tone proceeded to tell him, "Why did we not get an apartment that had a great view of Central Park?" Sheldon, who was reading a book on economics, was in no mood to answer that question for the 15th hundredth time. "Fran, I told you an apartment with that view was more than we needed to spend." Not truly satisfied with the answer she heard so many times Fran decided to go off in another direction. "I am concerned that something awful is going to happen to the city. You read about it and hear about it in the news. I have an idea and we need to do this ASAP." Again Sheldon put down his book, looked up at Fran and said, "What the hell are you talking about now?" Fran let out one of her trademark condescending sighs and promptly followed by, "We need to build a bomb shelter right away. And it needs to be somewhere in remote upstate New York. Plus we don't want any of our friends, or relatives for that matter knowing anything about it." Sheldon replied, "I think the term people most correctly use these days is nuclear bunker." Fran looked at Sheldon, walked over to him, and pulled the book he was reading out of his hands and threw it down on the floor. "What do you mean by nuclear bunker.? My parents told me that back in the 50s rich people had bomb shelters. I thought if you wanted to protect yourself from some A-Hole country killing you with bombs you needed a bomb shelter." Shelton reached down and picked up his book from the floor in an easy-going style so as not to ruffle Fran’s volatile temper anymore than necessary replied, "Back then there were atomic bombs and although they did horrendous damage and killed lots of people in Japan, the bombs that are used today are for more devastating and a simple bomb shelter is not going to protect you or me."

In less than 30 days, Fran’s temperament and tenacious intent put a stop to any conversation that Sheldon may have attempted to have with her regarding the bomb shelter. It was going to happen.  Fran convinced Sheldon, or perhaps a better way of stating it, told him that they were going to have a secret hideout and it was going to be a bomb shelter. Even though Sheldon kept telling her it needed to be a nuclear bunker that would protect them from all the craziness going on in the world around them.

Finding a contractor that truly knew how to build a secure luxuriant underground bomb shelter was no easy task. The trick was to find an architect and builder that would maintain absolute secrecy. Both Sydney and Fran knew that once it was built, the contractor would have to disavow any knowledge that such a place existed. Making the decision to build the bomb shelter/nuclear bunker was relatively easy even though Fran was the demanding aggressor and wanting it done. Sidney was on the fence. He knew that this was going to be an expensive project and it would be difficult to hide the expenses involved. Fran on the other hand didn’t worry about such things. She wanted it to be poshly decorated, easy to maintain, knowing that she would not be able to have any domestic help living with them. Sidney wanted to make sure they had adequate communications with the outside world so in case there was an active war they would know what was going on.

Surprisingly with a simple Internet search they found a construction company that specialized in bombshells. Neither Sidney nor Fran realized the building of nuclear bunkers was becoming all the rage especially with high net worth individuals. They learned that politicians and celebrities were building formidable bunkers to protect them and their families. Both of them realized constructing their own bomb shelter was a very smart thing to do. After all, if the rich and famous were all that worried then maybe they were definitely doing the right thing. As it turned out, they found one of the most prestigious companies that built bomb shelters. Neither one of them trusted those companies to be hush-hush about their bunker.

Sheldon did a little networking and told some of his friends and associates he wanted to build a well constructed getaway home in upstate New York, and if anyone could recommend someone that could do a professional and quality job. One of Sheldon's old college buddies had recently built a brick home near Martha's Vineyard and shared with Sheldon the information about the guy. Sheldon's friend also told him this guy only uses his first name and is pretty secretive if you pay him enough.

Sheldon was able to get a hold of the man that was recommended to him. It turned out that the gentleman's name, or at least the only name he would provide to Sheldon was Miguel. Sheldon explained what they were trying to accomplish and he wanted to make sure that Miguel would not share any information about the project with anybody. Sheldon understood that Miguel would want to get construction permits. Surprisingly Miguel had a brilliant solution to address the need for permits. Miguel explained, "We will build a custom house on the land but simultaneously we will build the underground bunker and keep it hidden under the structure when the inspectors come around to sign off on everything they would never know that underneath the structure was a formidable built nuclear bunker." Both Sheldon and Fran thought that was a brilliant idea and they told Miguel there would be an extra bonus for him if he got it built quickly.

It took Miguel almost 6 months to complete the project, and as far as anybody knew, no one discovered that underneath that house, that sat out in the woods, was a custom-built nuclear bunker with all the amenities that anyone could ask for.

Sheldon and Fran started a very secretive process of adding interior elements including food and medical supplies. They even added some sophisticated diagnostic equipment just in case one of them fell ill and they could self treat. They had a very low tech option in creating a library of medical procedures in case either one of them needed an appendectomy. They sourced old black and white movies that were used in medical schools. They even put an old projector in the bunker so they could watch them if needed. They also had an excellent selection of pharmaceutical prescription drugs, anywhere from antibiotics to treatments for shingles. What about food? It was loaded with all kinds of very healthy foods that were sealed in containers and cans. In case they were going to be in there for an extra long time they purchased case after case of standard military MRE’s. 

You may be wondering how they managed power and water. This became a bit of a gray area because I wasn't really able to find out much, other than the fact that they were using very sophisticated technology that was only available to high level military operations. And of course the same type of equipment that was used to protect government officials all the way up to the president of the United States. When I learned that this kind of equipment existed, I did extensive research to find out where it could be obtained. I had no such luck. But apparently Sheldon and Fran had some pretty good connections somewhere. 

Predictably it was only a matter of time before Fran became worried that Miguel would start telling people what he had built and where it was located. Sheldon wasn't quite as concerned as she was, but he knew secrecy would be important in case there was a nuclear attack. Both of them could picture Miguel, his crew and their families showing up and seeking shelter. Plus, Miguel knew that it was large enough to accommodate quite a few people safely. Fran, quite frankly, could become frantic and obsessive with worry that Miguel would start telling people what he had built, thinking that he would like to get other jobs building nuclear bunkers, because he made a lot of money building this one.

A very serious discussion started to take place between Fran and Sheldon, mostly driven by Fran, and her very loaded question to her husband, "We need to take care of Miguel." Sheldon was not sure exactly what she meant, but it did sound sinister to him so he responded jokingly by saying, "You mean like we should rub him out like gangsters?" Fran responded somewhat snarkily, "You mean we could actually do that?" Sheldon looked at Fran surprised by her answer, but then again, he wouldn't put it past her to entertain such a stunt. "No, absolutely… no way, besides if we get caught we would not have to worry about having a nuclear bunker because we both be in prison or even worse."

Miguel while building the nuclear bunker for Sheldon and Fran anticipated that they would not want him around. He never felt comfortable with them, even though they were always generous with making sure he and his crew got paid well and in a timely manner. There was something about those two that always made Miguel nervous. So he and his family, and the families of his workers decided to leave the United States and disappear. Miguel knew early on that he could not trust Sheldon and Fran, and quite frankly he thought they were despicable people. Whether that was true or not, Miguel decided to add a few extras to the nuclear bunker. Those extras could be controlled electronically from anywhere in the world. With potentially devastating results for anyone who lived inside that bunker.

Fran, who had very few conversations with Miguel, decided she would meet with him in person; she never let Sheldon know of her intentions. She did not want to meet Miguel or anyone who could see them together. So she arranged to meet him about 50 yards away from the house and bunker that Miguel built. This covert meeting made Miguel extremely suspicious of what he may be getting himself into. He made sure that his fellow crew members were well hidden around the area where he and Fran would meet, just in case she was going to try and do something, like do away with him.

The meeting took place. Fran dressed herself in a coquettish manner which was a bit over-the-top when it came to meeting someone in the woods. She started the conversation with, "You know Miguel, we are very rich and powerful people and we can make your life, your family's life, and all those that work with you miserable if we choose to do so. I'm giving you a warning right now: if you open your mouth or reveal anything about what you built, we will make sure that you and your family will never be safe again and you will not be able to hide from us." Miguel was not too terribly surprised by what Fran said to him. He looked her dead in the eye and said, "Your secret is safe with me, we will never reveal anything about your property or what's underneath it." Fran hearing what he just said became more condescending, and threatened him again. Miguel told her not to worry and it was time for this meeting to end and he walked away leaving her standing there. As he walked away he was nervous that she might pull a gun and shoot him in the back. But he also had her surrounded by his crew so she would never get away with anything.

Miguel all along suspected that this situation could escalate and that's why he decided they all needed to leave the country. He was also glad that he did what he did to retaliate by creating some extremely uncomfortable mechanisms that were built into the bunker. Miguel told his wife what he had done to be dangerously disruptive to anyone that was living or staying in the nuclear bunker that he and his team built. His wife Carmen was very vocal with Miguel and told him, "This is very wrong Miguel, you should never have done that. That can only bring on bad karma for our family.  You did something not right Miguel." Miguel knew for sure that Carmen was very religious and he was always supportive of her beliefs. But this time Miguel felt that he and his family, and his fellow workers could be in serious danger. He lied to Carmen and said that he will disengage the traps that he built into the bunker. But he never had any real intention of doing any such a thing.

Fran was anxious to spend some time in the bunker to see how it was going to work for her and Sheldon. "Shell, let's go spend a few days in the bunker and see how comfortable it will be for us in case there is some calamity that would jeopardize our safety." Sheldon replied, "I think that would be a great idea, plus I want to play with electronics and make sure everything is operating properly; especially the air purifier and the water maker. Who knows how long we could be trapped in there." Fran responded quickly, "I don't like you using the word trapped, I'm more inclined to refer to it as a home away from home for possibly an extended stay. You know like those ritzy hotels that wealthy people make their home."

The entrance to the bunker was some distance away from the house that was built above it. You had to enter a well hidden hatch door that was located in a rock outcropping. Once you entered you would walk through a tunnel until you arrived at the main access entry point into the nuclear bunker. As soon as Sheldon and Fran walked into the bunker, sensors started all of the equipment, the lights came on, and the fresh air generators filled the entire space. Fran was excited to spend her first night in the bunker even though she insisted on calling it their private bomb shelter. Sheldon would always respond to her bomb shelter comment by saying, "I don't even know where your parents lived. Did they live where people actually have bomb shelters? I thought your parents always lived in Brooklyn." Fran, annoyed by his perpetual misunderstanding of her using the term bomb shelters, fired back at Sheldon, "My parents grew up out West in a town called San Bernardino. San Bernardino is about 50 miles from Los Angeles. During the 50s people were afraid that we were going to get into a war. Everyone was building bomb shelters. I really don't know if my parents had one, but they certainly refer to it." Sheldon said, "Okay, okay if it makes you feel better we’ll call it our private bomb shelter."

Miguel, who built Sheldon and Fran’s nuclear bunker, had an electronic monitor that would let him know when they were inside. Miguel, his family, and his workers were living about 4000 miles away from where they built the bunker. There was a notification that popped up on Miguel's mobile phone. It was the middle of the night but Miguel set a specific tone so he would know if anyone entered the bunker. He monitored their presence and was curious how long they might stay there. After a couple of days of Sheldon and Fran living in the bunker, Miguel decided he was going to make their life a little uncomfortable at least at first that's what his intentions were. During the time he monitored Sheldon and Fran, he heard Fran commenting on how she did not trust Miguel and that they needed to find a way to eliminate him or at least scare him enough so he would never tell anyone about their hidden nuclear bunker. Miguel heard that conversation.

On the morning of the fourth day that Sheldon and Fran were comfortably living in the bunker, Miguel decided he would make their lives miserable or at least definitely uncomfortable. The first thing Miguel did was lock down the entranceway. Fran heard something suspicious at the entrance door, a heavy mechanical sound. She immediately told Sheldon, and they both decided they should go out of the bunker for a while. The door would not open, they tried everything they could think of to electronically override the system, to get that entrance point to open, but it was locked shut. Completely scared, Fran looked at Sheldon, "I am frightened there's no reason this door would not open. I think that this is Miguel pulling some crap on us." Sheldon responded nervously, "I hope you're wrong. We definitely need to figure out how we're going to get the hell outta here." Miguel, who was monitoring everything they said, felt very much in control of the two people. He knew they could make his life, and his family's life miserable. He decided to keep that door locked and let them feel trapped.

Fran and Sheldon were definitely trapped in that bunker. But to make things worse, Fran kept telling Sheldon, "We're going to find Miguel and I'm gonna make sure…" Before she could finish her sentence Sheldon said, "I don't know what you have in mind but you better be careful, right now we're trapped in this bunker and he's really the only one who knows how to let us out. We need to get in contact with him if at all possible." Fran settled down and agreed, "I guess you're right, I don't have any respect for people like him, he's really beneath our station in life." Again Miguel heard what Fran said, and it made him mad that she thought she was so much above him and his family.

Sheldon and Fran, who by now were starting to get frightened at the situation they were in. Miguel decided to make their life even more miserable. Miguel, who was becoming more vindictive after hearing all of the condescending things Sheldon and especially Fran was saying about him, decided he would get a little revenge. When Miguel constructed the bunker he added some interesting mechanisms that would release their contents into the bunker. Controlled remotely, Miguel decided to give them a real scare that could be very dangerous if they didn't know how to handle it. Just before Sheldon and Fran decided they were exhausted and were going to get in bed for the night. Miguel opened this large container that was filled with scorpions, within minutes there were scorpions running all over the floor. Fran sitting on the side of the bed was the first to notice them, pulled her feet up quickly and screamed, scaring Sheldon, "What are you screaming about?" Fran, completely frantic, said, "There are scorpions all over the floor in here." Sheldon, who hated bugs of any kind, also knew the best way to handle a scorpion was to squish it. He grabbed his shoes and started to stomp on them and told Fran to do the same. It didn't take very long for them to crush all of the scorpions, and fortunately neither one of them felt their stingers.

This was the beginning of what Miguel had in store for Sheldon and Fran. He would release spiders of all sizes, he even had a mechanism for pouring sand into the bunker. That probably scared Sheldon and Fran the most because if enough sand came in they would suffocate. The bunker became a torture chamber for Sheldon and Fran, completely controlled by Miguel. Sheldon and Fran were about to benefit from a miracle. Miguel's wife discovered what he was doing. "Miguel, you are going to stop this craziness and let these people go. Now you really have done it, they will try to hunt us down and kill us" Miguel realized that Carmen was right and what she just said.

Miguel unlocked the entrance door and disengaged all of the little traps he built into the bunker. Fran heard that the entrance door was unlocked, she grabbed Sheldon and said, "Let's get the hell out of here, I would rather suffer from whatever comes our way in the future then be trapped in this stupid fallout bunker shelter." As they were leaving through the tunnel that led to the outside of the property, Sheldon complained, "What a waste of money! We’ll never be able to recoup this loss, but then again it was a stupid thing to do and no I am not blaming you Fran I went completely along with it. I do not want you to ever mention Miguel's name ever again. We're going to leave him alone and I know he will leave us alone."

Carmen was standing by Miguel when he unlocked the door to the bunker. Both of them heard what Fran and Sheldon had to say. Carmen looked at her husband and put her arms on him and said, “ Let’s leave this story with a happy ending. And I don’t want to hear anymore about these two people for the rest of our lives.”