Getting The Devil Out of Your Head
Getting The Devil Out of Your Head
A restless sweat manifested itself from deep within her head all the way down to Sarah’s toes. Contrary to what she had hoped for, 2023 was a challenging year. Sarah managed to work through it and bearably celebrated many successes. 2024 looked like it was going to be a banner year. At least it started out that way. Something drastically changed inside Sarah‘s thinking.
Self-doubt. The overwhelming feeling that every human being experiences. The sad or the most difficult reason or condition is rarely discovered. It’s as if something happens to our brain chemistry that throws everything off. No man or woman can escape the insecure feelings that lead to the doldrums of thought. For some, it’s perpetual and shows up daily. For others it’s an occurrence, but seems to be manageable for the most part.
Sarah graduated from college with a degree that all of a sudden nobody had any use for. Heavily in debt, and her job prospects were scant at best. Frustrated and worried about her future, she often fell into a melancholic state. Sometimes those feelings came at her from all directions making her feel hopeless and dejected.
Particularly anxious Sarah decided not to waste a beautiful Sunday morning. She dressed up and went for a walk through the downtown area of the small city she lived in. The sidewalk she was walking on, brought her within earshot of people singing. There was a non-denominational church on the corner and the doors were wide open so the people inside who were rejoicing with an uplifting song could be heard out on the street. Sarah stopped and listened.
The music and the chorus of parishioners stopped singing. Sarah stood there for a while, thinking that they might sing again. It made her feel good to listen in, but that was not to be. Church was over, and everyone started filtering through the doors and moved out onto the street and went off in various directions.
Amongst the churchgoers, there was a young man, maybe three or more years older than Sarah, who went by the name of Peter.
He walked out with the minister, and they stood chatting on the church doorsteps. Sarah was taking it all in, she positioned herself off to the side of the entrance but still on the sidewalk.
Peter saw her standing there alone. A handshake with the minister, and they gave each other a casual hug, and then he turned and started to walk over to Sarah.
My name is Peter. I was curious to know if you attend these church services. Sarah at first did not know what to think of this guy Peter boldly walking up to her and asking her a question. She looked at him with somewhat of a confused expression, but finally said “No, I do not. I was just walking by, heard people singing, and it made me feel good inside, so I wanted to listen for a while.” Peter asked Sarah. “What is your name? I would like you to meet me here next Sunday and have you come to church with me.” Well, that line did not sit well with Sarah. Her first thought was. “What a pickup line. I wonder if it ever has worked for him.” As Peter spoke, Sarah watched his mannerisms and she could see that he was an innocent boy inside. She found it peculiar though, that he could look very youthful one minute, and the next minute his expression was deep and contemplative.
It was Saturday, and Sunday was close behind. Sarah was trying to decide what to do. She figured it was pretty safe meeting the guy at church. Somewhat reluctantly she decided to go. Sarah arrived at the church a few minutes before the service began. Peter was actually waiting for her at the open doors. “Hello Sarah, I'm so glad you decided to come and meet me.” Peter directed her in and showed her where they should sit. It was about three pews back from where the minister would be standing.
The Reverend came out and took his position behind his pulpit. After he discussed some of the usual church business, like donations, volunteering, etc., it was time for him to start ministering to his flock. The good Reverend Mark, begins his sermon. “I want to talk to you today about stress and anxiety, the kind we all dwell on in our minds daily.” For the next 30 plus minutes Sarah felt he was talking directly to her. She hung on every word he said, and it seemed to resonate deep within her own heart.
The church service finished up with the Parishioners singing some traditional Christian hymns. Quite honestly Sarah was not familiar with this type of music at all. She did take the time to enjoy it. Not knowing the words, she decided it was best not to sing along. Peter on the other hand was singing loud and clear, and periodically he would look down at her with a wonderful, caring and encouraging smile.
Everyone that was seated in the church proceeded to stand up, waiting for minister Mark to bless everyone. Then the church goers started filing out the front doors. The minister stood by the doors and shook various people's hands and made new acquaintances with those that he did not know. Peter introduced Sarah to Reverend Mark. The good Reverend was kind and gracious, and made Sarah feel especially good that he took the time to chat with her. He encouraged her to come back next Sunday.
Standing out on the sidewalk, Peter thanked Sarah for attending church with him. He asked her if she would meet him again on Sunday next. Sarah agreed and said she would see him next Sunday. On her way home. She thought about the words the minister shared with her. There was one part of his sermon that really seemed to hit home and that was when the reverend said. “Get the devil out of your mind.” And even though she didn’t quite understand the statement. She figured it must be applicable to what had been happening to her in the wee hours of the morning when she laid there, awake, staring at the ceiling with deep stress and anxiety. It occurred to her the more she thought about what the Reverend was preaching, she felt the devil was inserting and driving a wedge of discontent that was surely impacting her self-esteem and happiness.
It was Sunday again, and Sarah promptly headed to the small downtown church. Peter was dutifully standing there waiting for her. Again, they went in and sat down, almost directly in front of the minister's pulpit, about three pews back. This time Peter reached down and put both of his hands over one of hers. Peter quietly whispered to her softly, but yet with authority. He told her that everything in her life was going to turn out wonderfully. And that she would marry, have children and live a long and happy life. For whatever reason, Sarah felt that Peter was forecasting her life in the most beautiful way. His warmth and genuine, caring attitude was exactly what she needed at this stage of her life.
It was Sunday morning and Sarah dressed appropriately for church and had a beautiful smile on her face as she approached the church. This time something was missing. Peter was not waiting for her, she thought maybe he was sick and couldn’t make it to church that day. She went in and sat down, close to where she and Peter would sit together. She felt alone, but the Reverend delivered an uplifting sermon that made her at least feel good.
The church services ended, and she went out the front doors and turned to the Reverend who was greeting people and said to him. “Where is Peter?” She asked with a concerned expression on her face. Reverend Mark became very confused when she asked that question and he said to her.” What do you mean by asking me where Peter is? Is that supposed to be a rhetorical question?” That response in itself made Sarah more confused. She asked the Reverend again. “Where is Peter?” The Reverend half-jokingly said, “As far as I know for sure, the remains of Peter are buried at the Vatican in Rome.” That response understandably totally shocked Sarah. “No.. No! I mean the young man that I used to meet here at church and sit with. He was so kind and wonderful to be with.” Sarah emphatically said. The Reverend at this point was totally confused, but he was quick to tell Sarah that he knows of no such person. He went on to say, “You always came to church by yourself. There was no one with you. I was always very glad to see that you were coming to church on a regular basis.”
After hearing what Reverend Mark had to say about Peter. She just turned and walked away. On her way home, her eyes were tearing up and before long she had to stop and cry. She stood under a small group of trees, trying to regain her composure. Out of nowhere, she could see Peter standing before her. He spoke very softly as he held both of her hands this time. “You no longer need me Sarah, go on and be at peace. God has cast the devil out of your mind. From now on, you will be surrounded by angels when you sleep.”
It took several years before Sarah shared the story with anyone. To this day, the only person that she shared the story with was her husband. Her husband's name was James and he confided in her. I know the story well, because it happened to me many years ago.